we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
