Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
