on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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