he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
