You don't have asthma, your pregnant
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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