Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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