PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
