1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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