I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
