yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize