it was like eating out sand paper
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
