Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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