i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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