I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
