I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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