I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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