It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
