The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
