16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
