But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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