I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
