Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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