Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
