escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
