yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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