Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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