HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
