it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
