shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
