Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
