i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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