fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
