i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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