So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize