So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
