We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize