just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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