If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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