Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
