the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
