Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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