No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We had to coat check the pizza.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
