Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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