He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She's the barista slut.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
