I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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