Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
