worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
