so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
