Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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