i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
