I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
