i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
