Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize