she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
