...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
