So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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