he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
