I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
