I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
