I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
