take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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