okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
