i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
