Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
How does it feel to date your dad?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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