I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
