Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
