Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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