Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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