I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
