Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
