pedialite and red bull = repair kit
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
