Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
