New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Boobs speak an international language.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
